Those piles of clothes are clean.
Some days I wake up drowning. It feels like I can't catch my breath.
My feet hit the ground running and I'm angry, as if the anger has engulfed me and every single thing out of place triggers a stick of dynamite attached to me. Crumbs on the floor piss me off. The time it takes to make a cup of coffee gets the best of me, and I can't seem to remember how far I've come. My attitude bullies me, and everyone around me...
I'm grateful for the irony in laughter. Thank the universe for reminding me to loosen up. I'm so high-strung I could pop a rib out of place, simply by moving my body. I wish I could breathe. I wish I could take a breath and not feel like there is a ton of bricks sitting on top of me. Sometimes I wake up looking forward to going back to bed. Then there are the days I feel like I'm treading water. I'm skiing riptides, and crossing mountains like they're stepping stones.
I'm invincible. I feel invincible. There is still a splash of me that get's proud of myself. I wish that was my life every day, for now until always- and I could never find myself back at square one, again.
If you're reading this- I wanted to let you know, you're not alone in this hike. This, adventure to succeed. To "live the dream". Every day I do the absolute best I can. And the rest of the days, I mutherf*cking slay it.
But... every now and then... maybe more days than I will ever give credit for- I feel like I'm dragging my feet in quicksand.
and that's ok too. some days you have to let the clean clothes pile up at the foot of the bed, I can't explain it, either- but it really is a lot to carry- and if you wash them, and you dry them... and you can't seem to find the energy to put them away...even after you've folded them... multiple times..
- I'm still proud of you-
because you know what- my clothes are at the foot of the bed tonight, too.
Cheers to everything else I've done. It's ok to finish the rest of today's check list, tomorrow.
Sometimes, we cross oceans. and sometimes we cross off checklists.
Go easy on yourself.
Every single day, we are faced with something new. A new diversity, a new challenge- a new victory.
And every single day- we grow.
80% of the success is showing up- The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.
#loveyourselfie2020 photocredit Adela Hittell