When the Caregiver Gets Sick: Mothering Through the Hard Weeks

From Healing Roots Support

We’re honored to feature this piece from our friends at Healing Roots Support, a grief- and trauma-informed counseling practice founded by Dr. Katie Wiggins. This article tenderly explores the invisible labor of caregiving when the caregiver becomes unwell—naming the overwhelm, honoring limits, and offering compassion for mothers navigating hard seasons. Healing Roots’ work centers dignity, truth, and sustainable care for real lives in real time.

When the Caregiver Gets Sick: Mothering Through the Hard Weeks

October 6, 2025

When the Caregiver Gets Sick: Mothering Through the Hard Weeks

This week was one of those that humbles you to your knees.

It started with a stomach virus, the kind that doesn’t care about your to-do list, your work meetings, or the toddler waiting at your bedside asking for snacks. The kind that strips you down to survival mode. And when you’re a mom who doesn’t have a mom to call, the loneliness hits even harder.

There’s something uniquely brutal about being sick when you’re the one everyone else depends on. I kept thinking how much I would have given for a simple, “Do you need me to come over?” or even just a “Rest, I’ve got it from here.” But for those of us grieving our mothers, or anyone who’s lost that kind of soft safety net, these moments crack us open all over again.

Grief has a funny way of sneaking into the mundane. It shows up when you’re cleaning up a spill, running on no sleep, or lying on the bathroom floor trying to keep it together. It whispers, “This is when she would have helped you.” And that realization stings in a place deeper than exhaustion can reach.

But here’s what this week reminded me of:

Even when our mothers can’t be here, we still carry the way they would have loved us.

It’s in how we comfort our children, how we push through the fog, how we keep going even when it’s messy and unfair. It’s not about perfection, it’s about persistence.

So if you’ve had a week like mine, sick, tired, overextended, and aching for the kind of care you can’t receive anymore, please know this: you’re doing it. You’re surviving the impossible, again and again. And that’s something your loved one would be deeply proud of.

Let this be your gentle reminder to rest when you can, to cry if you need to, and to give yourself credit for every small victory. Because sometimes surviving is the bravest thing you’ll do all week.

-Casie Ellison, survivor