Bright and Beautiful

Sometimes, it feels like the things that we do have nothing to do with what we want.

I want to vacuum. I want to sweep and mop the floors.

I want my house to be spotless.

I want people to come over- at any given time, and be impressed with how they feel when they walk through my front door.

I want to live in a magazine.

I want all of the laundry to be done. I want it washed, dried and folded, then put neatly away.

I want the atmosphere to smell good. I want the rugs to lie flat on the floor.

I want the dishes to be shinning and I want the counters wiped down. I want to smile at the hint of fresh bleach.

Everything has a place, and I want everything to be in its place...

I want to walk barefoot on each square inch of the floor.

I want to have dinner ready before six o'clock.

I want to meal prep and have a menu prepared for every night of the week. I want to cook delicious food, and I want my kids to ask for seconds.

I want to be hugged by my animals who can barely hold their excitement in seeing me, anytime I'm out of their sight.

instead,

my 90-pound Mutt loves to jump our 6-foot fence. He's an adventurer. I can't let him outside without chaperoning him. He doesn't really seem to care about missing me.

There's a pond two roads over, no amount of shock has been able to keep him from it.

Even he understands the pain only lasts for so long, and for that, it's worth it-

He runs the neighborhood, everyone knows his name. They laugh because they enjoy seeing the huge grin on his face when he gets caught.

He'll look for a break to get away, then he'll run to the pond, faster than any amount of electricity has stopped.

Either he'll come home when he's done, or I'll go pick him up in our mini-van. He covers my seats and then tries to make me chase him for a shower-

He gets so muddy; it looks like his color is washing off in the bath.

Then he'll sit down... and let me wash him. He doesn't like to be dirty.

He doesn't like to be wet, either-

After he's clean, no matter how fast I am with a towel, he shakes every bead of water in the air. He splashes every inch of the walls.

I realize I will never be able to keep that bathroom as clean as I want it to be.

Because I appreciate he will probably never stop trying to get to that pond.

I honestly can't say I blame him.

Not only do I have four animals,

I have four children. No matter the fact of a hamper, someone leaves their pile of clothes on the floor. Someone will forget to shut the curtain or put down the toilet lid.

We've finally made it to an age where they've grasped the concept of brushing their teeth, yet they seem to only be able to aim anywhere but the sink.

I've learned if I want the bathroom to look clean, I have to paint the walls. Maybe I should get a timer for the lights too.

I enjoy beds being made and we have plenty of boxes for toys, but that's entirely too much to ask when there are other chores and homework. After school sports.

and boys.

We're at the ripe age of hormones and puberty.

The difference between antiperspirant and deodorant.

I'm not sure if my house will ever smell like babies breath again.

The amount of laundry we accumulate is never-ending.

I swear, I could go room by room, gather every article of clothing, and wash it.

I could spend all day doing every bit of it, piece by piece, and there would still be another basket full.

The litter box was just taken out, but I need a new belt for my vacuum.

And there's a science project due tomorrow-

I've got a photoshoot to edit and I'm working all weekend.

Football and Basketball tryouts.

I have learned no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to get it all done. Even when I think it's done- it's not.

Most times no one knows who left the mess.

And it's ok

I read an article about those lines from vacuuming and

the only way the lines will stay is if people stop walking on the carpet.

The only way the bathroom will stay spotless is for my dog to stop swimming in the pond.

The only way things can stay in their place is for them to not be used.

I've come to accept that not everyone will like what I cook, no matter how delicious it smells, or how much want I put into it-

I am grateful we have a table full of places to sit.

I love my life.

I love the contrast.

I love the fact that I'll never be done-

This is good napping weather.







FACE-A-DAY

Every single day, we are faced with something new. A new diversity, a new challenge- a new victory.

And every single day- we grow.

80% of the success is showing up- The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.

www.changethefaceofdepression.com

3 views
change the face of depression logo
  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black YouTube Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon
  • LinkedIn - Black Circle