you're big. But I am bigger.
That's what I keep telling myself when I look at this pile of laundry taunting me. Why is it always the laundry?
How am I supposed to tell everyone else to pick up their messes, when I have messes of my own to take care of?
The laundry is clean... it's been washed and dried... and now it's simply waiting for me to put it away.
Why is putting away my laundry so hard to manage sometimes? Maybe that's why I wear the same five outfits... because when I have smaller piles, it seems easier to tackle.
I swear it feels like climbing Mount Everest would be an easier feat than tackling the laundry pile that's sitting there, staring at me. It screams at me every time I walk by.
I've tried to ignore it, hoping it will fold and put itself away by the time I wake up in the morning, but it doesn't.
It's normal to get triggered by "stupid" things like laundry piles. It's normal when you're feeling depressed or overwhelmed. That's how I know I'm overwhelmed.
There are more times in my life when I have completely championed acres of laundry- and there have been notches of days where I lived in an apartment that didn't have a washer or dryer- not even a "hook up" and I had to spend hours at the provided facilities waiting and paying for load by the load to get it done.
I've paid the local laundry mat to do it for me. The laundry mat charges by the pound, and I promise you- they could have charged by the piece of clothing and I still would have paid for it.
They would wash, dry, fold, or hang my clothes for me- and there were times I still brought them home and set them down in the piles.
I don't know why, but the laundry has always been my biggest monster.
Taking care of other people when you don't feel like anyone is taking care of you- which is how I find myself feeling when I can't face the laundry- is emotionally exhausting and can feel hopeless.
And it is ok to cry while you're doing laundry.
it is ok to cry, anytime you need to. Crying doesn't make you any less of a badass. Even the clouds have to get rid of the rain.
It's ok to sit down and pull out each piece, and put them in smaller piles- then put away the piles one at a time.
It's also ok to put away as many piles as you can.. and it's ok if you have to leave a pile to hang up tomorrow.
I try not to be an advocate of leaving things undone until later- or "half-assing" things. I've had the motto "why do it tomorrow when you can get it done today" drilled in me for more battles than I can remember fighting...
But I had to walk away. I left a pile of clothes to hang- and I laid down to rest after I put every other pile of my laundry away.
I'm still proud of what I did do- and the clothes left to hang will be there waiting on me when I'm ready to tackle it tomorrow- or maybe even the next day.
A good life hack is to turn on an audiobook, or a podcast- maybe even find a new youtube channel. Background noise really helps to take your mind off what you're doing and drowns out the screaming laundry.
It's ok to tell anyone needing your attention that you're unavailable- or if they need your help, they first need to help you with the laundry.
The piles are big, but you are bigger.
You are still an amazing person, even if you couldn't finish putting away your laundry.
I love you. keep going.